Posted: February 14, 2013 in Humour
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Hand-Knitted Electricity_Cover_MEDIUMAnother dip into the feast that is F:

Flatmost (adj): Of building conversions, the one which yields the greatest number of compact condominiums

Flattipus (n, zool): A species of mammal specially designed to be roadkill

Flike (vb): To like someone on Facebook. See also Flol, frotfl and fkoff. As in “See that Benedict Cumberbatch? U R wel fit! Flike! C U L8R. Regards, S Fry.”

Foiglee (n): 

1. The recipient of a foigle – an ill-considered and readily broken promise made by a foigler such as “Of course I love you”, “I’ll pay you next week”, “I’ll get the next round” or “go on, love. I won’t come in your mouth.”

2. Someone who takes delight in sending spoof begging emails or Facebook messages with the intention of wrong-footing the recipient into offering a free service. A common ploy is pleading some kind of illness or disability that renders the sender unable to go through the usual channels. Sometimes referred to as emotional blackmail.


1. (n): A beautiful damsel who served as a decoy to attract eager medieval knights to the castle tower where another, less attractive, wench had been imprisoned by her despotic relatives. Now obsolete in its original sense, foilmilly refers these days to a type of Bait and Switch.

2. (n, arch): A coy middle-English expression dating back to Shakespearean times and now no longer in use. It simply means an extremely large, erect penis, and is named for the folklore nomenclature of the herb viagra viagris, a contemporary witches’ cure for grumpiness among middle-aged ladies.

Puck (As Oberon’s fool): i’faith sire, just the sight of thy foilmilly
will send young wenches mad and make them silly.

– From early folio editions of A Midsummer Night’s Dream

This line was expunged from the final folio edition after complaints from royalty. The line is actually believed to date back to Shakespeare’s own teenage years before he had honed his art to perfection. In middle age, with a more cynical countenance, Shakespeare altered the line to read: Marry sire, what fools these mortals be.


1. N, Abbr: A fashionable, alcohol-based slush puppy (from frozen + drink)

“Pint of Wifebeater, mate, and could you ask miss barely-legal with the tits over there if she wants a frink?”
– remark attributed to George Galloway whilst visiting the Adult Moods swingers’ club in Glasgow, 2008.

2. (n): A cross-dressing police informant.


1. (n): A short, involuntary laugh during sex that causes the vaginal muscles to contract, thus unceremoniously ejecting the male member.

2. (n, sl, Manc.): A stupid person. Orig. “he’s a fookin fookle, the cunt.” Liam Gallagher on the subject of his brother, Noel. Or maybe vice versa, nobody cares any more, frankly.


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